Way to Say!

One of the many laws stated in this week’s Parsha is the law to direct a fellow Jew on the correct path to appreciate and observe the Torah.

Understandably, one needs to use his Seichel – intellect – to understand where the person is coming from in order to reprove him without embarrassing him and to be cognizant of what he is capable of accepting.

The great Sage Rabbi Eliezer Shach o.b.m. underwent a very delicate surgery at an advanced age. The surgery was successful and he stayed in an Israeli hospital for an extended time. There was one exemplary nurse who stood out from the rest by being extremely devoted to the sage’s every need. When Reb Shach was released from the hospital this nurse insisted on escorting him to the car while carrying his belongings.

Rabbi Shach thanked her and told her the following. “I want to give you a gift that will remain with you forever.” The Rabbi continued, “I noticed that you are a smoker. As you know, smoking is bad for your health.” The Rabbi then spent some time describing all the harm that smoking causes, until the nurse agreed and committed herself to stop smoking. At this point Reb Shach said to her, “I have now given you the greatest gift!”

During the drive home, Reb Shach turned to his driver and said, “You should know that the greatest gift I could have given the nurse was to influence her to become Torah and Mitzvah observant. I saw that I was not capable of doing so. When I noticed that she smoked, I figured that she smoked on Shabbos as well. If I would have told her to abstain from smoking on Shabbos, she would have thought that I was trying to make her more religious and my words would not have been effective. I therefore approached it by explaining all the health benefits of stopping smoking completely. Once she would quit, she wouldn’t light up to smoke on Shabbos as well. Yes, I know that all other aspects of adherence of Shabbos will not be met, however, the spiritual benefits of her not igniting a flame, and not causing it to burn more when she inhales, and not extinguishing the flame and cigarette, are tremendous gains for her and her Neshama for eternity. Every time she would refrain from doing so would be a great respect for the Shabbos!

When one observes a law, even though it is through the ‘backdoor’ there are great spiritual benefits. A friend of mine who became vegan for health reasons, turned to me with a smile and said – look, I don’t eat Treif anymore!

Generally speaking, women light Shabbos candles approximately 18 minutes before the onset of Shabbos which begins at sunset. Men in the house are not bound by this candle lighting and have a few extra minutes until they also accept the Shabbos sometime before sunset. Shabbos is accepted earlier so that the sanctity of Shabbos will overflow into the weekday of Friday. The sanctity of Shabbos is extended at its end as well. This is so that the sanctity of Shabbos overflows into Sunday. Two additional days of the week are thus touched and elevated with the Kedusha – sanctity – of Shabbos.

 

Rabbi Moshe Feinstein o.b.m. was the one where everyone brought their Halachic questions to, both the simple and the most complex. Rabbi Feinstein would receive Halachic questions in the mail and he would respond by penning an answer and quoting all the sources and reasons of his rulings. They are masterful and have been published in seven volumes in a work called Igros Moshe – The letters of Moshe.

Within this collection Rabbi Feinstein responded to a person who questioned him about his practice of getting into a car right after candle lighting time for a two minute drive from his home to his Yeshiva. Although he arrived with ample time before sunset, the questioner felt that this was a questionable routine.

Reb Moshe responded, “I really enjoyed that my friend has wished to fulfill the Mitzvah of rebuking another according to your understanding. I am in no way offended. Without making a vow, I commit to not getting into a car after candle lighting.”

Rabbi Feinstein goes on to explain the reasons why it is Halachically permitted to do so. “But, since you are bringing to my attention that an onlooker may have a feeling that the Holy Shabbos is being compromised – I will refrain from doing so.”

With a display of his great humility, Reb Moshe signs off the letter heaping praise on the person for rebuking him for the honor of G-d and for the sacredness of the Shabbos!