The Torah tells us that if a couple decides to end their marriage, a document of divorce is drawn up and the husband hands it to his wife or he may appoint an agent to do so.
This document is called a Get. There is an entire tractate of the Talmud that discusses the extensive laws of a Get.
When a couple divorces there is a lot they have to deal with; isolation, trauma, children, family, friends, finances, and dashed hopes and dreams.
There is a dispute in the Talmud as to which misbehaviors warrant a divorce. Bais Shammai says that one may only divorce because of infidelity. Bais Hillel and Rebbe Akiva say that one may divorce even for trivial matters and they each give examples.
The question asked, is why is it necessary for great sages such as Bais Hillel and Rebbe Akiva to mention inconsequential infractions that can be grounds for divorce?
The reason for the divorce certainly piques the curiosity of others, which, unfortunately, many times results in rumors, gossip, untruths and distortions.
The petty reasons for divorce, however minor they seem, were specifically mentioned in the Talmud as valid reasons for divorce in order to protect the dignity of the couple so that people will not assume the worst, for they see other possibilities that would not cause them shame.
I recently heard Rabbi Ron Eisenman bravely, eloquently and effectively speak glowingly about an acquaintance of his who went through a challenging divorce and eventually remarried and excelled in maintaining the balance of the blended families.
Rabbi Eisenman’s words were so very powerful and instructive that I wrote them down.
The Talmud tells us that that the Tribe of Menashe was destined to be split. This occurred when the Jews entered Israel under the leadership of Joshua. Half of Menashe dwelled in Transjordan together with the Tribes of Reuvain and Gad, and the other half of the Tribe of Menashe dwelled inside the Land of Israel.
The Medrash tells us that the four Hebrew letters that form the name Menashe can also form the word Neshama – soul. Menashe possessed a Neshama that could face the challenge of a split tribe.
When families are faced with a situation of a split, it causes division and as a result, unfortunately, it leads to crisis, challenge and even tragedy.
Rabbi Eisenman proclaimed that it does not have to be like this, drawing this lesson from the following.
The Medrash asks; “Why was the Tribe of Menashe split?” It answers, for if a person asks, “Why was my portion split – why has this challenge happened to me?’” G-d Almighty declares, “You know, the Tribe of Menashe preceded you and underwent a split and they worked at it and they flourished.” This teaches us that a split is not a reason to cause us to fragmentize and collapse, rather, it can be a catalyst to complete and perfect us! At times, the division is there to bring about a Shelaimus – achieving proficiency that one never thought he had.
The truth is that we all deal with a force within us that wishes to tear us apart and separate and divide us from serving our Creator. This is what we call the Yeitzer Harah/evil inclination – our wild and rebellious side. It causes a tension within us because we have a Yeitzer Tov – a good and moral side – our moral conscience, that pulls us and draws us toward serving our Creator and doing what is right.
Just as we saw that Menashe drew strength through his name possessing the letters Neshama/soul which gave him the ability to fuse the strain of his split tribe into a sustainable entity, so too, each Jew possesses a pure soul. As we say each morning in our prayers, “My G-d, the soul You placed within me is pure.”
The purity of one’s soul can never be tainted by any sin he committed. This means that we all possess and maintain a constant presence of pure Neshama within us.
Our pure Neshama is the spiritual spark that ignites us and enables us to choose what is right when we are challenged, and our Neshama also generates feelings of remorse within us when we sidelined our spiritual duties.
The spiritual pull of our Nesahama during these days of Elul is a bit stronger. For we are taught that G-d, the creator and possessor of our Neshamos, is currently in the special sphere that is embodied by a Dodi / Belovedness. This G-dly infusion of love enables us to elevate ourselves and thus receive a good and blessed judgement this coming Rosh Hashana!
