Levelheaded Wife!

This week’s portion contains a dispute involving Korach, from the Levite tribe, who took issue with Aaron being appointed Kohain Godol. Korach, who was Aaron’s cousin, felt slighted that he was not chosen to be Koahin Godol and took issue with our leader Moshe’s authority. He accused Moshe of nepotism by covertly appointing his brother Aaron to the position.

Moshe, the devoted leader, made attempts to talk to Korach but he was unsuccessful, for Korach brazenly would not give him the time of day.

Through clever manipulations, Korach was able to gain a following. Interestingly, even people who were not from the tribe of Levi – who knew that they had no claim to the Priesthood –joined the feud. Our Sages tell us that the people Korach was able to sway were from the neighboring tribe of Reuven. This is because the influence of a neighbor has its effects, for the good and for the bad. A righteous neighbor rubs off positively and a bad neighbor affects negatively.

One of the leaders from the tribe of Reuven was a person by the name of Ohn. Yet, when G-d set off His wrath and eliminated Korach, his family and his 250 followers, Ohn’s name is not mentioned with the casualties of Korach and his group.

Our Sages teach us that Ohn was saved by his wife. How did this happen? She reasoned with her husband, “What do you have to gain from getting involved with this argument? If Moshe is proven right, then Aaron is the High Priest and not you. If Korach is right, then he is the Kohain Godol and not you either.” His wife’s rationalization resonated within him and he agreed with her, and she cleverly protected him from going back to Korach for the showdown in which he would have died.

Rabbi Eliyahu Boruch Finkel o.b.m. appraises Ohn’s wife’s clever and effective approach of reasoning with her husband.

Ohn’s wife did not attack and tackle the issue at hand. She didn’t say a word about who is right and who is wrong. She just said, “What gain do you have from being involved in the argument? In any case, you’ll be in the same spot.”

This resonated within him and ultimately saved him.

During the month of Elul which proceeds Rosh Hashana, in many Yeshivos – schools, after the morning prayers, they recite ethical statements and directives for self-growth called Orchos Chaim Le’Rosh.

Since the time I was a student at the Scranton Yeshiva – there is one directive that I think about and share with others. “Do not get involved in an argument that does not pertain to you – for in the end, they will work things out – and you’ll remain in the same angry state.”

Ohn’s wife’s strategy was – what do you have to gain from this argument – it has nothing to do with you. Yes, Ohn was influenced by his neighbor Korach, but his closest neighbor was his good wife and her influence straightened things out.

This past Shabbos when I sat down to study, I thought I saw a thick black floater going back and forth disturbing my eyesight. I thought to myself, I’ve had these squiggly floaters for the longest time and my doctor told me not to worry unless they becomes pronounced. Okay…what I was seeing was certainly what you would call pronounced. I blinked shifted my eyes and there it was – back and forth. I took my glasses off and looked at them and there I saw an ant had somehow gotten on my lens and was having a good time running back and forth. Thank G-d. Being that it was Shabbos, when it is forbidden to kill a live being (that is not a threat to life) I blew the ant off in a spot where it could go on its way.

Upon reflection of what I initially thought was the spot, and what it actually was, I understood the abovementioned lesson that much deeper.

At first, I thought that this moving black spot in my vision was internal – it was a part of me. Then upon further inspection I realized that it was merely on an external lens and with ease I was able to discard it away.

Yes, we are to show empathy for people who are suffering and we need to help them out. We cannot dismiss another’s pain just because it is not our own. However, when something is merely ‘bugging’ us, we have to seriously assess if it is affecting us personally and in that case it needs to be addressed and resolved. But maybe it is something external – out of our personal radius – and by getting involved or taking a position it will only lead to irritation and anger which will linger due to the lack of ability to have it resolved.

My educated guess is, that if Ohn’s wife and the author of Orchos Chaim Le’Rosh would be around today, they would not have a twitter account.