Although it has been over twenty years since I last participated at a Seder which was majestically led by my father, I must say, the Seder at our home is very much a representation of my father’s Seder.
This is the first that year that I can’t call my father erev Pesach to ask him how to make Charoses. I didn’t call because I didn’t know how to make it. Rather, it was a thrill for me to hear him explain how it is done.
In fact, this is basically the idea of the questions that we ask at the Seder. They are the same questions from year to year and the set answers are the same. Yet, when we ask and are given an answer, a renewed relationship is created between father and child at the Seder – which has a lasting effect throughout the year.
Inevitably, my father o.b.m. would start the Seder with a question which got everyone engaged. “What is different about the Kiddush Seder night from all the other times we recite Kiddush during the year?”
This got us to think, and answers began to come forth from the oldest to the youngest. Here are a few:
- Each person has their own full cup of wine in front of them. 2. The wine should preferably be red. 3. Most of the cup should be drunk. 4. We recline on our left side when drinking. 5. Aside from Kiddush, it is also one of the four cups that we are required to drink at the Seder. 6. Kiddush is recited specifically when Matza and Morror are on the table. 7. There is no Chometz in our possession. 8. The head of the household traditionally wears a white Kittel. 9. Generally, during Kiddush there are two forms of bread under the cover; at Seder, traditionally, there are three Matzos. 10. The Kiddush Seder night has to be recited after nightfall – because the Torah tells us that the Seder ritual is to be conducted at night.
I’m sure there are more differences – try asking this at your Seder and see what comes up. (Please share them with me.)
The other day my five-year-old grandson, Avromi, came home from school and told his father Tzvi, “I have a secret code.”
Tzvi asked him if he could share it with him. Avromi leaned over and whispered in his ear, “Yaknehaz!” Avromie’s Rebbe at YSV in Monsey is Rabbi Avi Frank, who was a roommate of mine when we studied in Israel. Rabbi Frank is a fascinating and energized Rebbe and knows just how to intrigue and inspire his young impressionable students. So he cleverly devised a way that the students know an acronym of the order of the extended kiddush we will recite at the second Seder which falls on Shabbos night. Yaknehaz – is how the Talmud refers to this order. First, the blessing on wine, then the Kiddush blessing, then the blessing on candles as part of Havdalla, then the blessing of Havdalla – between the parting holy Shabbos and the entry to the holiness of Yom Tov, and finally we recite the Shehechayanu blessing.
Rabbi Nissan Alpert o.b.m. asks why is it that the Holiday of Pesach is when there is a Mitzvah to ask questions about our faith, history and tradition? Shavuos, the holiday that commemorates G-d giving us the Torah surprisingly does not have this requirement, so why are questions asked on Pesach?
Rabbi Alpert explains that during our leader Moshe’s discussions with Pharoh about letting the Jews out of Egypt and his warnings that if not, the plagues will begin, Pharoh declares and asks, “Who is Hashem that I should listen to His voice and send the Jews out? I don’t know Hashem and I will not send the Jews out.”
We see that Pharoh had questioned the existence of G-d. Therefore, Pesach was established as the time that we should have a dialogue in which we clarify that G-d is our Omnipotent creator and Who is in control of everything that exists. The control and precision that G-d has over all aspects of His creation was proven to us through the plagues and miraculous exodus. This was done for the purpose of G-d taking us as a nation. A religion that encourages questions – has the answers!
The other day I was visiting an elderly Jewish woman of Russian descent at the Jewish Home. She claimed that she knew nothing about Judaism. I asked her if she had memories of the Pesach Seder. She said no. All of a sudden she began to sing Dayainu. I asked her how she knew it? She said perhaps her grandmother taught it to her.
Something to think about – Who composed the tune to Dayainu that is universally sung by all Jews throughout the world?
At the Seder, the tunes, the Hagadah which describe the events in Egypt, Matza, Moror, salt water, Charoses, four cups of wine, and Elijah’s cup are all universal – in every Jewish Home!
