When we study the Torah and read about the lives of our forefathers, Avraham, Yitzchok and Yaacov, we see that their lives were not smooth sailing. They all met with challenges, but within each of them was the ability to stand up to the task or test.
Rabbi Yaacov Kamenetzky o.b.m. points out something very interesting. We know that G-d presented Avraham with ten tests to determine if he was totally devoted to G-d’s will. Now, we know that Avraham is noted for his total devotion to Chesed – bestowing kindness to others. The tent of Avraham and Sara had entrances on all four sides to welcome and feed guests. Therefore, a number of Avraham’s challenges were things that went against his passion for Chesed. For example, Avraham was commanded to leave his homeland. This meant that he left his elderly parents, which was against his kind and caring nature. Yet, Avraham listened to G-d’s instruction.
When his wife Sara told him to expel his son Yishmael for his wayward influence on Yitzchok, Avraham listened to G-d, and sent him away.
When Avraham was instructed to offer his son on the Altar, a most unkind act, he asked no questions and went through it compliantly. This despite that it went against all that Avraham had advocated against human sacrifice which was prevalent at the time.
In our Parsha, the same type of challenge and test was presented to Yaacov. We know that Yaacov excelled in the area of Emes – truth. Every day we recite in our prayers a verse from the Prophets, ‘Grant truth to Yaacov and kindness to Avraham.’ Yaacov’s challenge was to go out of his comfort zone of Emes – truth – and present himself in a dishonest way.
Our Parsha tells us that Yitzchok wanted to bestow the patriarchal blessings on his firstborn son, Aisav, because he was blinded by the wicked Aisav’s antics. Yitzchok instructed him to prepare a meal after which he would bestow the blessings.
Rivka, Aisav and Yaacov’s mother, was quite aware of Aisav’s wicked behavior and knew that around 50 years back, Aisav sold his firstborn right for a mere bowl of soup. She prepared a meal and instructed Yaacov to present himself to his father as Aisav.
Even so, when Yaacov actually came to Yitzchok disguised as Aisav, and was asked to identify himself, Rashi explains that Yaacov tried to remain in the parameters of truth and he responded saying, “I am (pause) Eisav is your first born.” Thus, he avoided an outright lie.
Before Yaacov approached his father, his mother dressed him in Aisav’s clothing and with a hairy disguise. Yaacov was concerned that his blind father would detect who he really was and would place a curse on him rather than a blessing.
His mother Rivka told him, ‘Don’t worry, if that should happen, the curse will be on me.’
Rabbi Dovid Feinstein o.b.m. asks; what changed after Rivka told him that the curse will be on her? How could Yitzchok’s curse move over to Rivka when the curse would be directed to Yaacov? Yet we see that Yaacov listened to, and accepted his mother’s statement.
Reb Dovid explains, that at first Yaacov thought that he was going to his father, and any curse that Yitzchok would utter would be directed towards Yaacov only. However, Rivka assured Yaacov, that even if his father would curse him and the curse would not be transferred to her, nonetheless, she imparted the message that as a loving mother, she would feel that any curse directed at her son would feel to her as much as if it was directed at her.
Yaacov understood this and it gave him the confidence he needed. He listened to his mother, with wonderful results, for he received the blessings. And as it played out, his father realized that he was the son who deserved the blessings.
This concept not only applies to a parent child relationship but also to family and friends. One who watches a friend go through difficulties or stress and is supportive, empathetic and shows that they are also hurting, will ease the burden and help him/her deal confidently and effectively with the challenge!
